You know how you think you know what you do and how you do it? And then something happens and you realise you could do things differently? You could do different things. You could do the same things but in a different way.
At the moment I feel I am stretching out of my skin.
I used to have a fairly set way of doing things. A set of rules that I needed to stick to. A fairly rigid way of playing. And at the moment that’s all up for change.
I’m working with different people on different things in ways that I hadn’t really thought possible before. I’m learning new words – and more importantly what they mean in both practice and theory. I’m learning new skills – how to stuff that I thought only ‘experts’ could do. I’m having new experiences – and finding that within them, my own past experiences are as valid, as useful and as relevant as anyone else in the room.
I’m finding out that I am more flexible than I thought. And equally, that other people are more willing to flex around me.
I’m loosing my natural sense of inferiority – which is fantastically liberating. What if I don’t always assume that everyone else in the room knows more than me? What if instead I value the knowledge and experience I have in other fields and throw that into the mix?
I’ve always said I hear like a snake (I wear a bone anchored hearing aid so hear through direct bone conduction). Now I feel I am becoming one too – growing a new skin and sloughing off my old one. Curious to see what I will look like…